It hasn’t even been a week since I was notified that I’d been selected as the “potential Grand Prize winner” of the Life… Supplemented $10,000 Year of Wellness Video Contest and already I’m feeling conflicted.
I have to declare my winnings to the IRS. Sure, I’m getting $5,000 cash. But the total wellness prize package is valued at $10,000, and I’m gonna have to pay taxes on all of that. So, really, it’s like getting $2,500 cash. But, hey, that’s still a wad of cash!
I couldn’t help myself. I spent the money. If you’ve seen our winning video, you know we said we’d spend our winnings on three more kayaks so the whole family can paddle together. We weren’t kidding. Two days after faxing back a signed winner affidavit, I placed an order for three kayaks (including cockpit covers, paddles and a killer roof rack system to carry it all). The good news? It all came in at under $2,500. The bad news? Um, Life… Supplemented hasn’t even confirmed that I’m the “official” prize winner yet.
I might actually have to get fit. Within 20 minutes of posting my “I won!” status to Facebook, a good friend offered up this typical comment, “Outstanding!! We won’t recognize you soon…congrats!” You won’t recognize me soon? Why? Oh… crap… are people going to expect that I’m gonna lose my belly fat and get all healthy now? Not that I don’t want to lose my belly fat and get all healthy. I just don’t want people to expect it.
I’m fearful about the whole “life coach” thing. Winning this contest entitles me to “six life coach consultations via phone.” This scares me. I knew a person in college who became an “executive coach.” After securing my email address, he/she regularly inundated me with annoying promotions, imploring me to buy his/her book RIGHT NOW to boost his/her Amazon rank or to watch his/her 45-minute morning show interview. After becoming a Facebook friend, this “coach” bombarded my News Feed with inane self-promotions. Within a week of becoming friends, he/she created his/her own Facebook fan page and then repeatedly BEGGED all “friends” to become “fans.” He/she remains the only person I have ever “unfriended.”
As a result of that harrowing experience, these are my thoughts about the life coach:
- Can I just give this life coach to someone else? Someone who needs a life? (No, the prize is not transferrable.)
- What if, after one consultation, I decide the life coach stinks? Do I have to keep the life coach? Must I really pay taxes on the life coach?
- What if I blog about how much the life coach stinks and the life coach reads it? Will the life coach’s feelings be hurt? Will the life coach secretly conspire to ruin my life?
Stay tuned. (And if you like what you’re reading, subscribe (top right button), share this link and/or make it a “Favorite.”)