I launched this, my first-ever blog, on Monday. Today’s Friday. Here’s what I’ve learned:
Wellness blog photos should be chosen carefully. A hip friend who owns a modeling agency complimented me on the photos in my blog (taken last summer when I was having a good day). This pleased me greatly. Another advised that I should post a realistic “before” picture, taken today, to inspire others to become “well” and follow my example. She argued it will be especially persuasive when contrasted with a healthier “after” photo taken in 12 months or so.
Okay, here’s what I look like right now. I have:
- a Lands End bathing suit that is shot. (Three years ago, when my favorite (sort of expensive) suit turned up in Lands End Overstocks, I lost my mind and bought four. They were like seven bucks. I figured I’d wear my favorite suit for years …failing to realize that the elastic in older suits starts to go even if you don’t wear them. Incapable of throwing out “new” suits, I persist in wearing them.)
- a green and yellow polka dot Sierra Mist promotional bandana on my head,
- scaly, scabby, bleeding poison ivy on both shins,
- a flabby tummy and poor posture,
- bruises on my inner thighs from clinging to a West Virginia rope swing that I completely lacked the upper body strength for, and
- a hot-pink splint on the tip of my index finger for a ligament I hurt painting a shed. (I chose pink since my girls want me to be more feminine.)
Do you really want to see that? Well, there is no way in hell I’m taking or posting that photo. Maybe, just maybe, after my first consultation with my weekly personal trainer, I’ll share stats that demonstrate I need wellness. Like that body-mass index or whatever number it is that says you’re too fat and lack muscle.
Life coaches might be legit. The “before” photo friend also stuck up for life coaches, citing Martha Beck. Martha Beck is a life coach?!? That lady who wrote Expecting Adam, a book I loved, about her son with Down Syndrome and how his existence improved her life? That totally smart, together, wise soul is a life coach? I had to find out. So I went to her website and, sure enough, she’s a life coach!
Therefore, I hereby declare that if Martha Beck is selected to provide my “six life coach consultations via phone” I will gleefully accept them. And happily pay taxes on them. (But I will ask her why, on her homepage, she wears a necklace seemingly made from a Twizzler, six white gumballs and a Ghirardelli chocolate square. I can only surmise that it’s somehow life changing.)
Taxes stink. My accountant e-mailed yesterday saying how much of my $5,000 cash will have to be given to Uncle Sam. It’s more than I thought. Which stinks.
Kayaks bring joy. Today I pick up the three new kayaks we bought with our (anticipated) winnings, and tomorrow we have our first family outing!
P.S. I don’t really know why I’m even blogging because I’m still not the “official” winner of this contest. But, as always, if this amuses you in any way, please subscribe (top right) because I’m not going to harass friends and family much longer.